Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dancing on the Cervix

You know what I'm thinking of? Lionel Richie, of course. And oh, it is such a feeling, when the little two pound baby tap dances across my cervix. The beauty of a third pregnancy is that, as I no longer have any muscle tone, I get to experience all the wonders of pregnancy a little bit earlier.

Like baby kicks on my cervix. And Braxton Hicks contractions. Which I have been feeling since month four! Imagine that. I keep telling my husband how strong this baby is. I've been able to visually see the kicks for weeks now. Only to find out, after I talked to the midwife, that the reason my next child seems like a Sumo wrestler is because I'M ALL STRETCHED OUT.

Let's hope this comes in really handy during labor when the baby simply falls out of my lax, lazy pelvic muscles. Apparently, no amount of Kegels can combat the taxed muscles of my upper pelvis, not that I don't try. I am a constant Kegel-er.

According to the children, the baby will come out of my belly button. Now THAT I would like to see (as if it weren't amazing enough to have an eight pound person emerge from the vagina). Luckily, my vagina is bigger than my belly button. I hope this is true for the rest of you. But, hey, if it's not, that would be unique and you could probably get your own show on TLC, so everything has an upside.


  1. I remember when I was pregnant and was only 5 months along, I got this EXTREME pain in my pubic bone ... I went to the Dr for it and he said the good news was it would get better after the baby was born. I didn't want to hear what the bad news was but I guess it was the same: It wouldn't get better until AFTER the baby was born!! That meant at least FOUR MORE MONTHS of extreme pubic bone pain that is indescribable to those who have never had it. Oh, what we do for these babies!! I have to admit, it's all worth it though!

  2. Did you Dr. mention that the reason it would get better after the pregnancy was because you'd be too tired and busy to notice?!