Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Way It Is

Now you'd think my single biggest gripe with motherhood would have something to do with the way the children gang up on me whenever I want them to do something and run for cover under the baby's crib where I can only reach them if I am willing to drag them out by their ankles. (Which makes me think of city and town "leash laws" for dogs that essentially say you either need to have voice control over your animal or put it on a leash. Hmmm. I think I need two leashes. No way can I direct these children with my voice.)

Moving right along from what is NOT my biggest woe to what is. And frankly, most times, it's a sense of isolation. Staying home with children, despite the many opportunities to go to parks and on play-dates and to playgrounds, is, essentially, a one-woman job. No chats around the water cooler. No conferences. No meetings. Who knew I would one day crave committee meetings?

Some days, I eat every meal alone with the children. Just the three of us. One with table manners, two who throw food. Makes me want to live in a commune.

Seriously, I am a community-oriented person. Last year we put in an offer on a house in a co-housing community (which sadly we didn't get). I think introverts are much better at stay-at-home mothering. Meanwhile, it makes me, on some days, long to be in a polygamous marriage so at least I'd have the company of the other wives during the day--and someone to chat with while I wash the dining room table for the seventh time. Not a bad trade off, I'd say. (I should forward this post to my husband. I think he might dig it.)


  1. No, introverts have the problem that they don't want to be interacting with anyone - especially their children - for the whole day long.

    Maybe you should start a "cooking with mom" club where you get together with some other SAHMs and group-cook a few times a week. The kids can occupy each other and you all can hang out in the kitchen with a glass of wine and chat, then eat together?

  2. I need some good recruits. My two best dinner time friends just hit the road and moved. One to the West Coast...And these other mom-friends? They act like they need to be HOME with their husbands for dinnner! What a shame.

  3. Hmm, maybe what you need is an extra husband? ;)

  4. Extra husband?!?!?! haha! I don't know about you but *I* sure don't need/want TWO of those (that would be like some form of torture or like having more kids).