Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Hope you don't have a sh***y day!

Well, it's election day so we're all waiting for the sh** to hit the fan.

In my family, the sh** hit my husband.

This is a BEFORE picture.
It was an ordinary day for our family, shopping together at the grocery store and as such included screaming, grabbing, complaining, and arguing. As we went through the checkout line, I saw my two year old sneak off to a corner by the management door. This could only mean one thing.

Does this face make you think of anything?
But right when we needed to leave, I remembered what I had forgotten--wipes! I left my husband with the baby and my daughter and took my eldest to the diaper aisle but instead of hearing the sound of my little son's screams receding as we walked away, I heard them getting LOUDER.

In a matter of seconds, my daughter, my two year old, and my husband rounded the corner of aisle 18 moving at break neck speed. My husband spotted me and screamed:

"I'm covered in poop! I'm covered in poop! I've got poop all over me!"

In case I didn't believe him (and who could doubt such a proclamation), he held up his arm, his navy blue blazer decorated with, you guessed it, sh**!

The baby also had poop in some unusual places.

We double-timed to the bathroom. My husband had been forced to abandon the cart. "There's poop on the floor!" he told me, his eyes tearing with mortification.

My husband and I always argue about having another child. I want one. He doesn't. At that moment, he turned to me and said:

"This is not helping your argument."

Here's hoping that YOU don't have a sh***y day and that for this election day we all get just what we want.


  1. I can totally imagine the combination of righteous indignation and total consternation accompanying his exclamation. I guess some of us are just more accustomed to being the one covered in poop.