Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Seen, Heard and Lived

1. My babysitter has never eaten a brussel sprout. (How could this happen?)

2. I ate five chocolate chip cookies while reading Jen Lancaster's dieting memoir. (Read her. She rocks.) Let me clarify. During the first 5 pages.

3. I am wearing Delta Burke underwear. No. Not Delta Burke's underwear. Just underwear with her name on the tag. (Printed. Not written in permanent pen for you day care mother's.) How can this be? I am only a size 12, yet I am wearing fat lady undies. Still, they are pretty and purple. Still. I am not so sure I am ready to surrender my hiney to BIG GIRL undies.

4. The baby is learning sign language. So far her favorite is frog. She now signs frog for everything she sees. A sort of ecstasy of frogness exists around us now. We are all frogs, which certainly, on certain days, beats being a person.

5. My beloved husband ran out of threats for our toddler this morning. That is why I am the mother. My threat well never runs dry! Try me. Just try me!

6. You can not stop yourself from commenting on this blog. You are overcome with the urge to leave a comment. A really nice comment. A really, really nice comment.

5 comments:

  1. You are such an amazing writer!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh and those fat lady undies!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. I should try hypnotism. It really worked! You have left a nice comment. And how can I not post it...I mean, it's so true!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "My beloved husband ran out of threats for our toddler this morning. That is why I am the mother."

    Bwahahahaha!

    You know, we're still saving up that portrait of Dorian Greyparents in the closet, for when Goobers does something just a little TOO naughty. But I doubt I'll ever have the heart to use it.

    In our family, I'm the softy, and Bad Cohen is the hardass parent.

    But mostly because if I let Goobs do what he wants, he might leave me alone for a few minutes.

    I was not foolish enough to have 2 children, you see. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't believe *you're* the softy! And, by the way, having two children is much easier than having one. Just imagine the free time you get when they're busy torturing one another....

    ReplyDelete