Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Friday, May 8, 2009

But I Want the WHOLE Cake

I don't know if you are like this, but I am. If there's a cake, sharing it makes me nervous. What if it runs out before I get a piece? What if I end up with only a teeny, tiny piece? What if I want more and there is no more?

Along these metaphoric lines I live my larger life. I get an agent. I get a two-book deal. But now--greedy pig that I am--I want the thing to sell. Oh, not just sell, but sell well. (I don't have to be Danielle Steele, I just don't want to end up in the remainders section of your local bookstore.)

In an ironic turn of events, while I can get a major publishing deal, I can't manage to sell an essay to one of the mother magazines I subscribe to. This shouldn't hurt my pride. Alas. I shouldn't want the whole cake. Alas.

This is the Zen: one bite of cake at a time. Don't think about the cakes of the future. So I am trying to teach my toddler to chew. He eats like a snake swallowing a mouse. "Take your time," I tell him. Now I have to model it.

Children are impossible. They are perfect mirrors. They demand that someone become an adult.

What's an adult? Someone happy with what they have, that one piece of cake. After all, you can always make more. Oh, no wait, I've had an even deeper thought. It's not really the cake you want! It's something deeper....
like chocolate.


  1. AAAAAAAAAAAH quit being prolific! *blech!*

  2. Oh Lordy.

    This is why us sneaky mamas always make a two-layer cake. Because when you trim the halves to make it nice and flat, there's inevitably some "extra" that finds its way into your mouth. Just by accident, of course.

    An adult is not someone happy with her piece of cake. It is someone who knows she has a secret piece stashed in the cupboard that is ALL HERS - as soon as the little darlings fall asleep. :)

  3. You know what's funny? I love the word BLECH. Who came up with that? It's so perfect.

  4. Truly, I eat chocolate during naptimes. However, I am not proud of my non-chocolate sharing abilities.

  5. Oh, Sam, we miss you! Laughing out loud just now--love the snake with mouse image. For what it's worth, if you end up down here I will shamelessly promote you to everyone I know and do my dangdest to set up a gig or two. Well, I'll shamelessly promote you anyhow.

    P.S. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my closet cake anxiety.

  6. Cindi! We miss you more than I can say, more than a whole blogs worth of missings. It is not the same here without you!