Who says what?

Novelist, mother, minister, and yoga teacher muses on books, babies, motherhood, and what matters with reverent humor.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Top Ten Reason Motherhood Make You Feel Like a Failure

10. It involves a lot of poop.
9. And cleaning of toilets.
8.Your quarterly reviews come from someone in diapers.
7. Someone else does it better (AND she puts pictures of herself doing it so well online).
6. You missed the motherhood class because you were too busy taking the stupid required math and science courses.
5. It involves late-night training.
4. No one under twenty appreciates a healthy meal.
3. You will hear the words, "Mom, I hate you," often enough to effect your self-esteem (but luckily not your Facebook friend-o-meter. And thank God, you need real friends when you have to live with the enemy!)
2. You can't freeze dry them on that one perfect day to preserve forever, probably on the mantel, or maybe hanging above it.
1. No matter how hard you try, ultimately: THEY HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN!

Oh, look, here I am, being the perfect, most successful mother to one of my "kids!"

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